Were you happy when you found out

it was me? Not born biological boy but

 

girl bloom from her womb, your young

hands cradling this bald, mucus babe

 

bawling for the first time. I know you

cried as you do now after 30 years of

 

goodbye hugs to kindergarten to college

to only holiday visits. You had three

 

older sisters, so tenuous, but were you ready

for me? Your DNA duplicate, carbon

 

copy of an offspring. I think I was ready

for you, my eyes the same rain-soaked

 

blue. Our favorite game was monster,

extreme hide & seek. You’d hide and

 

I’d try to find you in the dark corners

of our house, but before I could claim

 

my victory, you’d jump out, teeth bared

and tickling talons prepared to trap. O I loved

 

how you scared the shit out of me. Was it

the same for you? Laughing in the face of

 

monstrosity, not knowing when I’d find

you or that you would see the real me?